“Foreword: if you’ll allow us to be hypothetically candid in this poster’s scenario…”
"Seeing as you are located nearby, & are using resources we will probably steal at some point in the future, for your own advantages in providing a parallel society from ours, we will rationalize that, you sir, are robbing us, & our territories resources.
Seeing as we cannot simply move a territorial mon-, I mean, “our country,” we have no choice but to use force to resist, consequences be damned."
"I’m afraid you know what this means: we’ll declare you as eco-terrorists, & scapegoat your most radical “citizens” as violent anarchists who tore up a slew of our Cabinet’s cars that we didn’t order the Secret Service to do while we getting drunk with our bankers collecting money from a recent bail-out that was “needed”.
“We’ll have to rev up our tax-payer fueled military, raise inflation a lo tto get the poor misfit radicals who, despite being intelligent enough to resist the state, are put between a rock & a hard place to utilize any of the following services we provide, & hence forth become dependant on the very thing they hate: welfare, service in the military if they are stupid enough, & debt (monetary & social).”
"Our parterners, who just love to make lots of money, will pick up the slack from those who don’t utilize those services, as the economy becomes so topsy-turvy, jobs are lost, houses lost, that many will become dependant on corporations to provide for them that which they cannot themselves.
Of course, they don’t really need to use us, but our services have distorted the perception of the standard of living & that which the standard of living requires, that it would be like quitting heroin cold-turkey for some them.
All we gotta say is, once China went black poppy, they never went back, really. Ah, those crazy Brits, with their bad-teeth & double negatives…"
"Anyways, as of this letter, you are already harming our citizens by “forcing” us to react to you, which frankly is going to cost way more money than would normally be required. Based on this altrusitic-tinged reasoning, you should be ashamed of yourselves for trying to out-compete us at our own game.
Luckily, our citizen’s volunteer service will be the first ones to get a shot at some good ol’ shaudenfreude when they storm into your territory & steal your resources, as long as they never really know what’s going on beyond the threat of terrorism attacking their great country."
“Just so you know, sending this response to you is totally optional, but hey: you’re the new kid on the block, & we’re going to cut you a break. Hell, The Sopranos got nominations here, so we obviously got a sense of humor, but business is business- you understand, right?”
"Let us know if you want to join the Union if you don’t feel like playing Wag the Dog or Chicken, because frankly, you are going to lose. We know it, you know it, Russia knows it, & Russia, as you know, just does whatever Russia feels like doing most of the time.
We’re honestly at a loss; all we know is that Putin wrestles Tigers, & we usually don’t fuc* with him."
“Finally, we would also not recommend hiring any defense (like PMC’s or mercs or whatever), because our friends & us have probably either bought them all at top dollar, or own the means of production to which they utilize their services. We also suggest not buying nukes from Ahmadinejad or anyone else unless you want a bright red target painted on your back. While the best defense is sometimes a good offense, in this case, you have no real means of defense, & we’ll be sure to keep it that way.”
“We’re just saying, Tide w/ Bleach is not going to wash the target off, no matter how many times you try washing it with the whites.”
“Stay classy, “Freedom Fighter”.”