So through some miracle I got my significant other to agree to wed me. Now comes the hard part: convincing the in-laws. I have decided to see if I can get them to cool down by presenting them an economic argument in favor of marriage. Thus far I’m thinking saying something the lines of: One is more willing to invest resources on a wife, than say a more temporary girlfriend. For your example, if your daughter needed a major surgery a husband would be more willing to pay for the operation, than a boyfriend. The boyfriend has no certain gaurantee that the relationship will last for a few months and as such his actions are always based on the short term. A husband though is much more assured of how long he’ll be with his wife and so willing to invest for the long term. In addition, married couples are more productive as they can better specialized between household chores and work. Any ideas on other arguments? P.S. I can’t seem to be able to make multiple paragraphs on the site’s posting system. Is this just me?
You have got to be kidding.
The issue is not marriage, but marrying YOU. And they probably have an opinion about you, one way or the other, that words won’t be able to change much. SO man up, tell 'em you are marrying your gf, and let the chips fall where they may.
The forums are getting ridiculous.
Why do you need your inlaws permition to marry? In fact nvm, don’t answer that.
…
Are you insane? This sounds like a terrible idea, which will cause your cause your inlaws to think of you as an incredible sperglord.
The real question to ask, is why are your inlaws against it? Are you very young, or knew each other for only a very short period of time? Are you someone that your in-laws consider undesirable (poor, jobless, ‘uneducated’)?
Personally, my wife and I married at 19, and I asked her to marry me after only dating her for about 3 months, much to the horror of our families. We’re still together, and very happy with each other. Our families got over it. However, I can’t necessarily recommend you go against your families wishes too brazenly. Taking some time, and trying to make them happy can be worthwhile, as a supporting, loving family is very important going into a marriage. Your family/s could cause a great deal of stress if they’re not on board.
sperglord?
You need to think of it as more of a sales pitch. How can they benifit? How can they be rewarded? Can you guarnatee thier daughter’s happyness? This is a business move, don’t teach economics to them. You need to make the proposal exciting and promising. Not dull.
i think that is only part of a solid argument.
you should also bring in something about assesst specificity and quasi-rents (see Crawford, Klein, and Alchien).
For example, the longer you date this person the more “person-specific” human capital you will accumulate (knowledge of her likes, dislikes, etc). As a result, you become a better a mate for her than other women (effectively making it more expensive to break up with her and abandon that capital and start with someone new). If she knows this, she may try to exploit quasi-rents away from you (“If you don’t buy me a car, I will leave you!”). Marriage helps reduce the odds of this threat by making it more difficult for both parties to unilaterally end the relationship (it becomes harder to issue ultimatums(sp)).
According to Crawford, Klein, and Alchien this is much the same reason why Ford motor company merged with a particular paint manufacturer back in the 30s (the paint company developed some sort of coatings that were somehow specialized for a fords, i forget the details as it has been a long time since i read the paper).
if you add this argument, i think you will win them over for sure. phrase it this way:
I need to marry your daughter so she isn’t tempted to take advantage of our relationship and so that I am not tempted to in turn.
that’s the ticket.
That is the hardest road you could choose, and I recommend avoiding this approach at all costs. What you need to do is get them to like you, or at least get them to be comfortable with you. You are not going to be trying to convince, but trying to persuade (emotions, not logic).
I agree with the other person who said this is not the forum to look for the answer to your particular situation, and although this thread might tangentially discuss the economics as it goes, I enjoin you in the strongest possible terms to avoid bringing any of this up with the family (even if they are all economists!).
As an aside, why do you want to get married now anyway? What benefits do you think you will get?
Student, if you’re so smart, how come you’re not an Austrian?
Gesh. I meant this as more of a light hearted topic. Similar to the discussion awhile back on Zombies and the free market responding to them. I don’t need the in law’s blessing for the marriage. I just wanted her parent’s approval before formally asking her. There isn’t any real reason for them to oppose the marriage, I just figured it might be a good way to strike up the conversation. I suppose I might need to stop lurking this forum during the middle of the night. I apologize if anyone got the wrong idea here.
Edit: I have to admit Student’s post made me chuckle a bit.
Hahaha sucked us right in.
You had me. I thought I was helping you make an “important life decision”
Check your premises Dave.