Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
> > known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one
> > neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
> > deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are
> >
> > held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
> > quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has
> >
> > no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it
> > impedes
> > every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of
> > Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a
> > second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a
> > normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead
> > undergoes
> > a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
> > neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’ s mass will actually
> > increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to
> > become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion
> >
> > leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever
> > morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
> > referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
> > becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much
> >
> > energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as
> > many
> > morons.
I laughed… hard [:D]
Old, but good.