I don’t think you could be more wrong. I’m 34, the oldest of three. My mentally disabled sister was born when I was three. My mentally disabled brother was born when I was eight. I was off to college when I was 17. My brother moved into a group home for mentally disabled adults when he was 20. My sister still lives at home, though my parents are actively trying to find her a group home, as well. In my brother’s house, there are four men with various mental disabilities, and a rotating 24x7 staff to assist them in day to day activities. He and the other men in his house enjoy listening to music, shooting baskets and watching TV. They go to dances, concerts and sporting events. My sister enjoys shopping, swinging (on a swingset), listening to music and dancing. She loves jewelry. She also goes to dances and concerts.
I visit my parents and sister regularly, and also my brother’s place. My siblings especially enjoy going for rides in my convertible in the warmer months. I’ve attended many Special Olympics in which my brother was a participant. I’ve volunteered at a few Special Olympics track and field meets. I’ve attended dozens of parties where the majoity of the guests were special ed classmates of my siblings. I think it’s fair to say that my experience with “these people” dwarfs your being “around them a couple of times” in the same way that blow torch dwarfs a Bic that’s almost out of fluid. And because of that, I can say without hesitation, you have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
Throughout the years, I’m sure I’ve come in contact with over a thousand mentally retarded people. Their disabilities range from the having the mentality of a toddler, barely able to feed themselves, to just being a little slow. Though my brother has the mental capacity of the average 4 year old, and the vocabulary of maybe a 3 or 4 year old, he has a job stocking coolers in a local deli, and also cleans tables in a community college. One of his former roommates bags groceries, and it would be hard to tell from a brief conversation with him that he is disabled.
Kids can be cruel. I’ll never forget a little girl (maybe 10 years old) at a Special Olympics reduced to tears, crying on her mother’s shoulder, because some asshole “normal” kids called her a “stupid retard.” The kids obviously had no clue that their words would hurt her so much. Most likely they assumed, as you do, that she would not understand. A few thought it was funny that they “made the retard cry,” while one of them looked like he felt guilty. It didn’t make the scene any less heart breaking, though. I’ve also seen the look on my siblings’ faces when they overhear “normal” people whispering about them. I understand that they can make people uncomfortable, I and I don’t blame anyone, but it still sucks.
As I said, I have no patience for political correctness. I’m not that interested in associating with the easily offended. My goal in this post was not to stop you from using “retard”, especially in a forum such as this. It’s just to get you to realize that “mentally retarded” covers a very large range of mental disabilities, and the many people with mental disabilities will be hurt by such comments. They have enough to deal with; they don’t need that, too.