Onion: Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department

This article is currently topping the charts at the popular site Reddit (1,585 upvotes, 588 downvotes)…

CHEYENNE, WY—After attempting to contain a living-room blaze started by a cigarette, card-carrying Libertarian Trent Jacobs reluctantly called the Cheyenne Fire Department Monday. “Although the community would do better to rely on an efficient, free-market fire-fighting service, the fact is that expensive, unnecessary public fire departments do exist,” Jacobs said. “Also, my house was burning down.” Jacobs did not offer to pay firefighters for their service

Here’s my response in the comments…

Russian Anti-Communist Reluctantly Enters Bread Line

LENINGRAD—After attempting to feed himself on his own, anti-communist Peter Sergeyev reluctantly entered a state bread line on Monday. “Although the community would do better to rely on an efficient, free market in food, the fact is that there are no jobs, and if I don’t get in this bread line I’ll starve,” Sergeyev said." Sergeyev did not offer to pay the Bureau of Sustenance for its service.

What an inconsistent jerk right?

Libertarianism desperately needs a rebranding campaign.

Until libertarians start to create their own brands, there will be no rebranding campaign. Reddit and Digg are gamed by certain constituencies. If libertarians were smart, they would follow the model of the Campaign for Liberty and Mises.org and create prominent homes for their ideas and philosophy.

Sadly, there is only one Mises.org and only one Campaign for Liberty. The lefties are working on the C4SS, but at any given time, it’s just complaining about the sorts of people found at Mises.org and Campaign for Liberty.

One more thing to remember is that the people with the most time to advocate, are likely anarcho-syndicalists rather than anarcho-capitalists, just by the nature of their philosophy (see mr1001nights).

I suspect next year the state will seriously start trying to police and control the web, and the smear campaigns against C4L and Mises.org will pick up again. So far there have been too many gains, too fast, too easily online. TPTB won’t let that go on indefinitely without a challenge.

The problem is that Libertarians do not agree on what their strategy to win is, and really they don’t even agree on what it is they want to win. Leftists are pretty clear on that: they want to put leftists into positions of power and keep them there.

The most Libertarians have said about strategy is that people need education. Nobody knows what to do once people have been educated.

I think once people are educated, there’s nothing left for us to really do, other than letting the seeds of liberty grow.

Perhaps our biggest flaw has not been a lack of education per se, but our mode of education.

There’s a meme going around called the underpants gnomes that typifies this kind of belief. So it goes:

  1. Educate the people

  2. Liberty!

The fact that Libertarians don’t realize that the power-mongers will fight back against their campaign shows how shallow their education is.

Libertarianism will only work when there’s no other choice than to think for oneself. Right now, there are still others happy to unburden us of this need, by promising to solve our problems for us if only we give up just a little more of our liberty. Of course, these promises are all bullshit. It’s just going to take a really long time, and alot of pain on everyone’s part, before this fact is reluctantly accepted. Then, sullen and downtrodden, the people will turn to reality.

I expect to be long dead by then.

The Rev

What else, other than more education, could we possibly do to those whom we are educating, after we have already educated them as thoroughly as we can?

Why can’t Step #2 simply be “Give them space to mull it over for themselves”?

I think the infancy of the “movement” (for lack of a better term, I really don’t like the word) has a lot of shortcomings. But nothing that cannot be overcome.

I always wonder, if you could task out jobs for liberty to libertarians, would you be able to find the people to do the grunt work?

For example, let’s say I live in Yahoo County. And my libertarian goal is to reduce voter turnout by 50% in 10 years. Are there libertarians willing to perform what might seem to be small, unsexy long view tasks to push back, or is it a bunch of all or nothing folks who will stand on a street corner with Ron Paul signs (disregarding talking to their neighbors) and voting in CNN Online polls?

Definitely missing are

  • Libertarians Mariners For Peace
  • The National LIbertarian Small Busines Alliance
  • The Brotherhood of Libertarian Carpenters
  • The Council of Libertarian Home Owners
  • and such

Still in it’s infancy. Still missing out on so many opportunities for organization, identification and collaboration. And please ignore the “anti-hierarchy” nuts. They are going nowhere because they reject the division of labour (h/t corktageous).

The first problem with this statement is that education is not something you do to someone, it is something you give them.

The problem with this is that you have to convince those all or nothing folks that reducing voter turnout is something they will benefit from, and that’s really not clear to me.

In other words, we need to provide them with actions and choices.

Educating someone = not doing anything to them?

Education really isn’t that helpful.

People are more use when they’re pissed off than when they’re educated.

That is an abuse of mathematical symbols.

Only for a single use.

Made me lol nice one Daniel

Good response. Also, don’t forget that using the fire department is just getting restitution for all the crimes committed against you by the government.

I hear what you’re saying, that we need plans toward physically halting state criminality, but keep in mind that words are actions. Words change minds; minds move bodies.

Despite the comfort of that statement, where I could easily rationalize to myself on what little I do is somehow changing things, when I have no real way of being certain, I have to disagree.

If words are action, then by now, all the blogs in the world should be leading us straight to freedom.

Online is a great arena FOR NOW, but it will cease to be in the future, if anyone will bother listening to Lawarence Lessig’s important work & his warning of The State (not by that name, but more or less he refers to The State)'s possible (& ever more likely) trump card of an “online” version of 9/11.

The increasing sabre-rattling of cyberspace becoming more of a territory rather than an abstract environment should send shivers down everyone’s spine, most of all us, but even more disheartening is the somewhat valid claims this is derived from: where is the infrastructure required for the existence of the Internet located?

It is not all in one territory, and even if it were somehow designated in a neutral territory somewhere on earth or in space, the required defense necessary to fend off Statist conquering might not be there.

The bastardized claims of territorial monopoly are being applied ever second to an abstract environment of information (such as an The Internet), & by proxy, this conquest will eventually result in an exponential amount of bureaucracy & regulation.

Forget about the traditional argument of “too much regulation into our daily lives”; it will eventually become (if not already), an argument of too much regulation into our daily thoughts & information.

The Internet is an excellent resource, but libertarians & anti-statist’s should stop being complacent in it’s existence. The first step towards providing the bridge of online action & words into tangible offline actions & options would be to make privatized infrastructure for separate Internets.

The internet has already proven to be the most (so far…) anarcho-capitalist (I hate to use that term, but most here know what I mean by it’s use in context) friendly method of providing the vital means of organizing not only a space for us, but the very basis for groups of people to be able to branch off & create, essentially, their own social worlds, cultures, & possibly eventually, states, based on the ease of use the Internet both as a concept, & possibly more importantly, as a means of mediation, calculation, & market action.

If the Gadsen Flag once represented a symbol for the movement (& still does for many) than The Internet can thought of both the digital & physical culmination of technology as a symbol for freedom.

Money bombs, infiltrating blogspot with material until whenever google decides to censor stuff on their servers, submitting stuff to reddit, & other forms of online promotion are all good & well, but what would be more impressive is a Gadesen Online, or a Gadesen / FSP Internet.

Even better would be the fact that initially, such services would cost too much for ideological outsiders to bother with, but overtime, the growth of both infrastructure to maintain such net’s would reduce costs, & allow fully competent oversight to ensure that there is no easy hanging fruit for The statist’s to come in & shut it down (i.e. oversight concerning possible things the state would leverage to raid, such as child pornography, etc.).

I’m sure the anti-hierarchy types might bitch about it, but they can try to do their own thing too, possibly via some sort of Tor like network on their own servers (this is tangential, but a realistic concern nonetheless). This goes without saying regarding competition in the markets, anyways.

Such under-taking would have those involved having an intuitive understanding of the connection between micro & macro scale growth. For example, service plans ranging from the most primative (but most built in saftey wise, possibly) uses of sub-par 56k for just information & minimal media, to the most exhubrent (T1, etc., possibly even from paid pipe from comcast etc.) for libertarian and/or an-cap buisnesses.

The earlier would be easier to provide intinally, but would eventually fall in line with exponential growth. The latter would attract those cannot stand slower internet (which might be the majority of the those who do not agree with the aims of a libertarian or privatized internet), especially if it was priced competitivley with other services, or at least as competitivley as possible. I could go more into the nuance of it all, but it’s too big of a tangent.

Back on point, I would argue that the Internet finally provided us with an infrastructure that is the most amoral, unbiased reflection of individual trade & actions (again, thus far), & hence, a better reflection of free-market action between individuals.

To be fair, it could also become a better reflection of totalitarian control, which is why I see privatized internet, privatized informational services, storage, & creation, to be more important than ever as we head off into the Brave New World, albiet, with the half-assed slant that comes with reality & bureaucrats.

I suppose it figures that this useful finally tool comes along , & most seem more interested in exploiting it as a commons (at times, myself included, lol…) while they can (even as a liberty minded individual, it wouldn’t be uncalled for to call this a mild form of parasitism, or at least laziness), rather than further evolving it beyond “one Internet to rule them all”, or doing something more tangential besides either reformism via regulation (Lessig is probably the most successful example of this, but it includes the EFF & others as well), or reactionary outrage that eventually devolves into passive acceptance (it would be hard pressed to find anyone immune to such, even the most noble & tireless ideaological fighter).

Granted, Internet2 is being developed, & will be far more controlling & regulated, but it would be unforgivably arrogant to think that the 1st Internet would be left behind by The Statist’s, to let us lowly masses take advantage of it & challenge oligarchy, in favor of another internet, simply because it is more shiny than the last.

I apologize for the rambling, but as much as I like looking at my own blog & desperately trying to find time to post up words on the Internet for people to read, I don’t make it a priority primarily because when it comes down to it, my blog probably matters little outside the peanut gallery, even if I promoted it, etc.

If the FSP or any other libertarians start getting smart about arming themselves to protect their own servers that allow privatized cyberspace with minimal next to no immediate interference from The Statist’s, I would say then we are making good progress.

At this point, I’m beginning to see that the creation, liberation, & defending of agnostic (i.e. non regulated) information is far more important than the creation of arguments & the growth of, yet still somewhat closed, circles of interested people.

While many would argue that our words may eventually help grow a majority at some point to tip the arguments into our favor, & to some extent I can see that occurring, it would take far too much time to do this.

I find it further interesting that while the arguments for spreading the word are widespread, the possibility of a possible biological strategy, such as breeding with libertarians or anti-statists in an effort to ensure future generational resistance (voluntary eugenics, I suppose you could call it, or counter-economical eugenics) is rarley heard of.

Although, I see the secession movement of the FSP being a possible pre-cursor to such, however, despite that obviously not being a primary nor spoken of goal of the FSP, but would probably occur to some extent in the more liberty minded population interacting, living & breeding with one another.

In that sense, it makes me further confident that libertarianism as both a genetical & memetical culture, may be one of the best long-term strategies we can utilize the eventually arrive at one, if not the, primary goal(s): to show that the concept of coercion is not valid.

The fight continues, I’m afraid.

Good post, I don’t have the technical knowledge to really add much to it. But I’ll say this: in the next ten years, the state will grow beyond recognition.