“I think it was Yamamoto who said that the Japanese could never conquer America, because behind every rock, there’d be an American with a rifle. I’ve always believed that if America were a free society and the Chinese invaded and overcame our first line of defense, the surfers, the Chinese general would have someone dragged up and say, ”Take me to your leader!” And the guy would take him home to his wife. After a few months, half the Chinese army would desert to open McDonald’s franchises, and the other half would be treated as common criminals; they’d disappear at night.”