The German constitution says that men and women are equal. Despite that, I had a rendez-vous today at the draft office that concerns itself with the processing of our male-only mandatory service programs.
I thought my plan was water-proof. I brought all my medical certificates about this ailment and that booboo. Plus, I figured, I’m so totally out of shape - they can’t possibly conscript me.
But all in vain. After a senior medical examiner had checked the status of my balls (“you seriously need to take those pants off, sir, or I won’t be able to look”), they told me I’m in.
Now I have the “choice” between one year of compulsory military service or compulsory civilian service. Since I don’t feel like being yelled at by a jerk in a uniform, I’ll probably opt for the forced civilian labor thing. They even pay me; 3 euros per hour.
I’m so excited that Dear Leader Obama and Grand Vizier Emanuel are working tirelessly to implement similar programs in the People’s State of Amerika. Soon, many of you will share the joy I feel now for being granted the opportunity to become a temporarily enslaved drudge.
I will, in all likelihood, not get in shape during this basic training. Why will I not get in shape? Because after the first weeks of military training, all there is to do is hang around, wait for time to pass and booze. Especially the last one.
The gun aspect was intriguing, but for a drafted recruit like me, no extensive firearms training will be provided either. Plus, I don’t think the military is the only place where such skills can be acquired.
I’m enough of a leftist to dislike the military, anyway. Too much hierarchy for my liking.
The military, like any other endeavour, is what you make it. I am sure there are plenty of military facilities where you can join your buds and get fit on the taxpayer’s dime. Then go out boozing afterward. Sounds a hell of a lot more fun than sitting in a cubicle somewhere.
Germany sounds like a pretty pussified place.
Right. Because civil service bureaucracies aren’t hierarchical at all.
Well, I’ll be aiding the community, you know. Driving around disabled children, bringing old people meals on wheels or fixing some minor technical issues in local hospitals and schools.
I guess you’ve got a point here, but I have to say that extending high school leisure time for one year while earning a few bucks also has its appeals.
Did I mention that we have gender commissioners who make sure women are not discriminated against on the workplace?
I’ll probably lack angry superiors when I’m bringing food to the elderly, and I guess I won’t have to do 20 pushups for running a few minutes late. Doesn’t mean I’m in love with the concept of civil service, though.
Essentially, also keep in mind that a minimal military service is not competely contradictory to a libertarian state, whilst a civilian service most definatly is.
DO NOT SELECT THE MILITARY OPTION!!! The civil stuff is only annoying, pointless and wasteful, the military part can be fatal. MORE OVER, the military bureaucracy may want you back!!! Check for your military detachments in other countries, you will find it frightening. Do you want to catch a bullet or other fast moving semi-molten piece of metal for Miss Merkel? How about for a bunch of Albanians or Bosnians or Afgans? How about for the President of the United States?
I know that Mises made this point, but I don’t see a great difference between being forced, for a limited amount of time, to join the military or being forced to join the Red Cross.
On the other hand, I always wanted to drive a tank, at least for once. Maybe I should propose to aid the community by founding and commanding a local militia unit.
Yes, that’s one of my biggest concerns. All drafted recruits are, to my knowledge, obliged to fight for the homeland in case of an attack. That may, in a distant point in time, mean for me to be deployed to hostile parts of Arabia which is not my favorite place for a holiday.
I won’t do it for Miss Merkel, I’ll do it for democracy.
Do they have any Austrian Economics books in the Prison Library? [:D]
Seriously though, are you willing to fight in a World War? Because that is what you’ll likely to be asked / told to do if you take the military option.