The Stereotypical Lefty.
The stereotypical lefty buys all their clothes from crappy independent shops with dirty old men behind the counter.Often they are bad tempered and aggressive in speech.They can be found hanging around there favourite shops and street corners.They are constantly on the look out for ‘reactionary forces’ and will harass anyone who challenges their egalitarian socialism.They frequent Costa Coffeee while bemoaning their lack of ‘fair trade’.Their vocabulary is limited to a minimal range of words which includes “proletariat”, “bourgeois”, “exploitation”, working class", “revolution”, “capitalism” and “rage against the machine”.They believe in the innate equality of humans yet are constantly fighting to raise their heads above the crowd and conformity and try to assert their flimsy individuality(even though they dress like almost everyone else their age and listen to the music their friends do)Their infantile hairless acned face covered by a long tangled knotted mess of hair hides the ugliness of their ideas.They see ‘Capitalist’ exploitation everywhere- teachers telling them to be quiet and parents setting bed times.They don’t worry though because anyone who rejects there specific brand of Socialism is a Fascist.Their bedroom wals have posters of Martin Luther King,Tom Morrello,Billy Bragg,Che and the Sickle and Hammer.Their book collection includes works by Marx,Engels,Trotsky and Chomsky.Their time is taken up attending university or college.When their not out with their friends hanging out discussing dialectics they spend their time surfing the internet forums in the role of the copy and paste keyboard warrior.
The Stereotypical Righty.
Humourless with a crew cut and grim expression, they declare a ‘war on toasterism’ when the toaster burns the bread.They justify this with a need to ‘spread democracy’ to the toaster citing it’s anti-western values and lack of respect for authority. Without qualms they grab the knife to butter up the black bread.They pray to jesus before dressing in a suit and heading off to a meeting to discuss bombing some middle eastern “backwater”.On their wall is pictures of Margaret Thatcher,Ronald Reagan,George W Bush and Winston Churchill.The pictures sit among national iconography such as flags.Their book collection includes such writers as Leo Strauss,Machiavelli ,Russell Kirk,Iving Kristol and a biography of Churchill .Anything that doesn’t fit with their small town nationalist view of things is denounced as “progressive” or “liberal” .They believe strongly in family and never miss a call from their son who is fighting in the armed forces ,millions of miles from home in a war they concocted to exert power.